you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
