As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
