Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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