I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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