Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I checked into jail on foursquare
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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