If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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