she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
