She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
