Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
