So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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