I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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