I wish I could teleport
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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