maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
false alarm, still single
Randomize
