hotel room ftw
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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