Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
