in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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