Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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