I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
