happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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