I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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