so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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