I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
