I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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