i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
