We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
