Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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