you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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