Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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