Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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