i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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