I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
