Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
pop tarts are not kleenex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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