My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
