You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
