I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
