where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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