If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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