apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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