I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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