So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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