It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
