I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
