Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My ass is underappreciated
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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