he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
