i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
