so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just forgot I was standing up.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
