We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize