I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
porn star boner night. come get it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
