There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
