hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
