i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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