so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
