SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
