When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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