and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
