She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i permit you to call me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
