Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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