addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
