I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
