I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
