im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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