I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
