Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Ladies don't puke and tell
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
