so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
