so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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