At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
