GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
