Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
as a side note pls kill me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
