saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
there is glitter all over my balls
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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