I wish I could punch you in the face.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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